Can i not drive my cunt home
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
