I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
