I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
