Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
