I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
