I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
