i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're too hungover to prance.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
