You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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