Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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