This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
