Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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