Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
