Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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