Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
