Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
