I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
