pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
