I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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