Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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