And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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