Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
