Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
