why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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