drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
