How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize