The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
