Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
