I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize