someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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