Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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