just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
