Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
