I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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