I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
