I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
