STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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