At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
