yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
