There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
