Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he thought i was a dude.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
