girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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