And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
