hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
