Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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