i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
