I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
