Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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