good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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