Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize