y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
