Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
