I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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