I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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