Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
