he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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