That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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