I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
