I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
