I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Rumble strips road head = magical
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
