i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
