you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
