There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
should my penis look like a turkey
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
