there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
