if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize