in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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