Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
