Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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