I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
