I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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