The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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