Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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