i just google imaged poop.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
