if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
