just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
