Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
