I hope mine doesn't look like that
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
